This morning, as I sat on the sofa, refreshing my twitter page on my phone, watching the news and reading the email I had just received, I realised that we are bombarded with different mediums of communication throughout the day.
I regularly check the following as the day progresses:
- Text messages
It has become almost like second nature and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing at all?
It is becoming more apparent to me that we are losing something in the ability to converse with people on a face to face basis. How often have you been sat in front of a friend, colleague or family member and both of you have been glancing at your phone while communicating?
I’m guilty of doing exactly the same – the red flashing light on the corner of my phone draws me to it and I struggle not to immediately pick it up and read what ever has been sent. Often, it’s a spam email or an email form a company informing me of a sale or latest items. Is that really so important?
Communication to me is an art. How often have you had a conversation with someone and you know deep down even though they may be listening their not hearing what you have to say. Almost as if we simply go through the motions – the substance is no longer there.
Why is it that we are often far more free in what we say on social network sites than in social situations? Have we lost the art of face to face communication? Webcams and skype yes you could argue they are like face to face but it’s not the same as being in a room sat with someone is it? As much as it convinces us it is . There is still the potential to ‘create’ an appearance, manner, identity in some form.
Even talking on the phone has now been replaced by text messages of whatever app messenger you may have downloaded on your phone.
This has been happening for a long time I know and I have let it happen to me but today it’s just struck me that I miss a good conversation, without phones around, without the distraction of the television. I miss those deep conversations that seemed to come so easily and now seem to be almost a chore.
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t spend my life having superficial conversations in which I have a phone in my hand at all times and am staring at the tv screen. That is an exaggeration, but what scares me is that it’s not so far off.
I am going to share one ‘proper’ conversation I have had this week and I hope you will share yours, so that we can ensure we don’t lose the beauty in the art of communication and become only able to effectively share ourselves through typing.
A proper conversation
I’m not going to type word for word the conversation but suffice to say I was able to share the following things:
- That I was struggling to lead the youth group in its’ current form and that I needed more support
- That the issues with my family impinge and effect my relationships with other people in such a way that I can become withdrawn
- That I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to be the me I thought other people wanted and not the real me.
Yes I exposed my soul during this conversation and made myself vulnerable. The result was that I felt relieved that I no longer had to pretend and continue wearing a mask. It’s scary, it’s a risk but if we stop taking them do we not begin to lose who we really are?
When was your last ‘proper’ conversation and what was the result?