It’s the little things in life that count. The thoughtful text, the friend who drops by to see how you are. The first cup of coffee in the morning, wearing your favourite pair of jeans. A smile.
It’s the little things that often have the most impact too. The text i received from dad that said ‘I’ll try and make it but I’m really busy all the time.’ It was only a text message but it cut deep into my psyche as I have explained in a previous post.
The invitation from some friends to a murder mystery party and being asked to play two men. The initial elation of the party was quickly overshadowed by my questioning of why did I have to be the one? Why had they thought that I would be ok with that? So much so that I’m considering not attending. Petty? It may seem that way to you but I’m in a delicate place right now what with the death of my uncle, being redundant, being hurt by my dad again and again. So it may seem like a ‘little thing’ but to me it’s too much.
There is also an expectation of me to be outgoing, bubbly, ‘the life and soul of the party’ and yes I am happy to be like that when I feel it but right now I don’t. Right now, I just need some space to rant and order my thoughts as they all crowd into my mind and fight for position.
Yes, yesterday I said I was looking forward to the adventure and that I wouldn’t let the redundancy make me bitter. It hasn’t and I’m not however, I am in a reflective mood. The thing is when you don’t have structure and order to your life you tend to get lost in thought, in your mind and that’s something that I don’t want to become all consuming.
There have been a number of really good ‘little things’ the text from a friend who you know will go all out for you and be there and let you be just how you want to be with no judgement. There’s the freedom from having to play the game at work anymore and that is really empowering. There is the time i have to get the house sorted and straight and more like home.
I promised my self that this year I would pay more attention to the little things, the thing is I forgot that sometimes these can go both ways. Sometimes it’s the little things that can smart, hurt and wound but there are plenty more which can heal and those are the ones I will concentrate on.
So I am grateful for:
- The text from a true friend
- Genuine concern and care
- Having time to get the house sorted
- Being able to bake and cook
- Being able to write
- The first cup of coffee in the morning
- The people who read and comment on my blog
- My twitter friends
- The fact I am still able to get up each morning
- The fact I am not hiding how I feel
- My support network (including my ever patient husband)
- My cats
- The fact I have grown my nails without biting then for the first time ever
After completing that list, I have a beaming smile and feel warmed in my soul – simple I know but sometimes it’s all about the little things.